


More Straws, Please

by Captain_Jade



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Coffee Shops, Crack, Double Dating, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Idiots in Love, Lapis and Peridot have interesting ways of showing affection, No Angst, Play Fighting, Ruby and Sapphire are regretting agreeing to a double date, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Weird Fluff, like literally none at all, straw wrappers, thats a first for me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:07:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24982060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Jade/pseuds/Captain_Jade
Summary: Ruby turns to Sapphire. “This is the weirdest double date we’ve ever been on.”“This is only the second double-date we’ve ever been on, dear,” Sapphire reminds her.“And it’s much weirder than the last one.”“Well, I’d have to agree with you there." She and Ruby look at Lapis and Peridot, who have gone back to shoving and hitting each other.“Hey! You’re in my personal space!” Peridot scowls, pushing Lapis back.“We’re sitting in a booth, what do you want me to do, draw a dividing line?”“No! I want you to be in my personal space! I freaking love you, you clod!” Peridot retaliates.
Relationships: Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe), Ruby/Sapphire (Steven Universe)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 80





	More Straws, Please

"Clod."

"Nerd."

"Idiot."

"Dork."

Peridot blows her straw wrapper at Lapis' face. Lapis squeals and blows _her_ straw wrapper back at her, which results in Peridot growling and elbowing her in the ribs.

Ruby and Sapphire exchange confused glances. "Is this normally how you two express your affection to one and other?" Sapphire asks.

Peridot and Lapis freeze right before Lapis smacks Peridot in the face. "Well...yeah?" Lapis says, confused. "How else would we express our affection to one and other?"

"Um...not by insulting and attacking each other?" Ruby suggests.

"Were you guys gonna order something, or what?" the waitress asks. She puts her hand on her hip. It compliments the impatient scowl on her face nicely.

“Oh. Right. Okay. What were we gonna order again?” Peridot leans down to pick her menu off the floor, which she and Lapis had knocked off the table three times in the eight minutes they had been at the coffee shop.

“I don’t know, how am I supposed to remember?” Lapis throws her hands up in the air, exasperated. “You’re the one with the functioning memory around here.”

“I am? Oh yeah. I forgot,” Peridot says. Her and Lapis erupt into giggles, knocking the menu off the table yet again.

“Maybe you can come back in a little bit,” Ruby says to the waitress, who rolls her eyes and mutters that she’ll give them more time to decide. Ruby turns to Sapphire. “This is the weirdest double date we’ve ever been on.”

“This is only the second double-date we’ve ever been on, dear,” Sapphire reminds her.

“And it’s much weirder than the last one.”

“Well, I’d have to agree with you there. Steven and Connie were much less...” Sapphire trails off, failing to come up with a word for the couple’s odd behavior. This double-date was Steven’s idea, but she’s starting to question his judgement. She and Ruby look at Lapis and Peridot, who have gone back to shoving and hitting each other.

“Hey! You’re in my personal space!” Peridot scowls, pushing Lapis back.

“We’re sitting in a booth, what do you want me to do, draw a dividing line?”

“No! I _want_ you to be in my personal space! I freaking love you, you clod!” Peridot retaliates.

“Ha! Dork!” Lapis reaches across the table to grab Sapphire’s straw, rips off the end of the wrapper, and blows it at Peridot.

“I predict we’re going to need a lot more straws,” Sapphire mutters. She and Ruby simultaneously facepalm, causing Lapis and Peridot to freeze again, right before Peridot smacks Lapis in the face.

“What are you looking at us like that for?” Lapis and Peridot say at the same time. They gasp and look at each other. “Jinx! Double jinx! Triple jinx! Quadruple jinx! Whatever comes after that jinx!”

“Guys, you’re supposed to be deciding what to order,” Ruby reminds them.

“Oh yeah. Sorry. I guess we got a little carried away there.” Peridot picks the menu back up off of the floor and clears her throat. “What do they have here? I’ve never been to this coffee shop before. Or any coffee shop. Ever.”

“Well...Garnet usually comes here alone, but when we’re split up, we like to order a smoothie with two straws,” Sapphire says, brushing her hair away from her eye so she can see Ruby, who’s blushing.

“Aw, stop that,” Ruby mumbles, leaning in to plant a kiss on Sapphire’s cheek.

“Ruby! Not in public!” Sapphire giggles. Ruby kisses her on the neck this time, which causes Sapphire to blush and Peridot and Lapis to look at them strangely.

“Mmm, I can’t help it. I love you, Sapphy.”

“Ugh. Is that normally how _you_ two express your affection to each other?” Peridot asks flatly.

“Actually, we normally express our affection to each other through fusion,” Sapphire points out, still staring admiringly at Ruby. “But yes, when we’re split up, this is pretty typical.”

“That’s weird.” Lapis rolls her eyes. She takes the menu out of Peridot’s hands. “Anyway. What about we order a smoothie with...six straws?”

“Why do we need so many straws?”

“So we can blow wrappers at each other, idiot.”

“Oh yeah. So how many are we using to drink the actual smoothie?”

“Um, none of them.”

Peridot grins and pecks Lapis on the cheek. “Cool. Let’s make it ten straws, though.”

“Okay, cutie-pie.”

“I’M NOT CUTE!”

“YES YOU ARE!”

“UGH! YOU’RE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER!”

“NO, _YOU’RE_ THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER!”

“ACTUALLY YOU’RE WORSE BUT I LOVE YOU ANYWAY AND I WANT TO LIVE WITH YOU FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!”

“I LOVE YOU TOO YOU DORK AND I WOULDN’T WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH ANYONE ELSE!”

“Guys,” Ruby hisses. “That was adorable but people are staring. Can you please stop yelling at each other?”

“Ugh. Fine,” Lapis scowls, but that quickly turns into an endearing smile as she takes Peridot’s hand and kisses it. “I really do love you though. Even though you annoy me to no end.”

“Lapis, stop it, we’re turning into Ruby and Sapphire!”


End file.
